The Sacred Homemaker – Taking control and Letting go

If you are someone who tends to empathise with others, who has trouble saying ‘no’, who tries to do too much and ends up disorganised as a result, it’s very effective to sit down and organise what’s actually within your control.

If it’s in your control, then worry about it. If it’s not in your control, let it go.

Of course, much of witchcraft appears to be about controlling things that you really can’t. Real witchcraft is about tweaking the things in your control to cause ripples which affect others. Real witchcraft is about building relationships and using the mundane tools at hand to make things go your way. Real witchcraft is about not wasting energy on what is futile.

You can’t control the weather. You can have a raincoat, gumboots and insurance. You can’t control other people. You can control your reaction to other people. And your subsequent actions.

So when someone you know is agonising because something went wrong, take them through this simple exercise:
Ask the question – “was what went wrong within their control?”
If “yes”, how do we prevent it happening again and teach others to prevent it as well.
If “no”, and most of the time it is a “no”, then let it go.
You’re just wasting energy which could be used for other things.

I call this process ‘taking a “not my problem” pill’. The “meh” and “whatever” pills are also great relievers of stress. Get in the habit of saying this out loud. Say it in conversations, when the gossip starts to get nasty over who did what. “This is not my problem. I’m not going to waste any more time over it.”  Say it to other people: “Is this really our problem?”.

Oddly enough, you will get more respect for this attitude than if you try to fix everything for everybody.

No-one has enough time, energy or money to do everything that needs doing. Working out what is actually in your control can winnow down your list to something that might actually happen while saving you fruitless worry about things you can’t do anything about anyway.

All together now – “Not my problem!”

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